Can’t bat, can’t bowl and can’t field. Say hello to the Indian test team (Part 1)

The Oval, August 2014

Had the misfortune of booking tickets to the Oval for the first day and the third day of the test match between India and England.

Day 1

Cook put India into bat in perfect bowling conditions. Gambhir managed to middle a ball for once. Except that he was trying to leave it. Four balls into the game. First wicket down. Here we go again.

The rest of the day was a bit of a blur. Batsman marching in and out. Virat looking grumpy after leaving a straight one. Plenty of cheers from the English supporters. Indian fans drowning their sorrows in lager. Some good catches in the slips, including one by ‘short slip’ under the helmet. Lots of playing and missing. Some lusty hitting from Dhoni. Finishing at 148 (from 90-9) was a miracle.

England v. India: 4th test match, Old Trafford

There is no DRS in this series OK?

Watching our beloved Indian team play on Saturday brought back a few memories.

Remember Durban, 1996?100 all out in the first innings. 66 in the second. Oh, we were an inexperienced batting line-up in alien conditions. Did you see that ball from Donald to Sachin?  (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TyaqXf2_l9k). Totally ridiculous!

And what about Barbados, 1997? 81 all out chasing 121. Come on man, super dodgy fifth day wicket! (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2XkxHvXE2fY)

As Indian fans, we’re great with coming up with reasons for our inexplicable results.

Which bring us to 9 August 2014, Manchester. 152 all out in the first innings. 161 all out in the second innings. Each Indian innings was shorter than the average Karan Johar movie. As a rational (?) Indian supporter, I’m struggling to justify why we lost. But maybe our superstars can explain things better (starting at the top):